“My teenage son is addicted to his phone.” “We are facing big struggles with our teens.”

Screen time is a topic that has received much discussion lately. In our digital age, grandparents and parents face challenges in making sure that digital devices are well used, and to strengthen intergenerational bonds with or without digital devices.

There were many unanswered questions at the close of our last “Apparently” webinar on 28 August 2025, on the topic of screen time.

Here, we give our take on some of those unanswered questions:

Q: I like to hear from you what is ‘excessive’ screen time? Esther Foong mentioned ‘do not fear!’ but many parents are concerned about their child gets ‘addicted’ and neglects their studies or other healthy activities.

According to the guidelines on screen use in children by the Ministry of Health (January 2025), common signs that a child has become dependent on devices and has difficulty regulating screen use include:

• Increasing screen time or use of devices to the extent that normal activities like school and home responsibilities are neglected;
• Constantly thinking about using devices or getting more screen time;
• Unable to reduce the use of devices;
• Unwillingness to share the device, or to return it to parents when asked;
• Telling lies about what he or she has been doing on the device, or telling lies to get more screen time;
• Having poor sleep quality and quantity;
• Displaying anti-social responses or behaviours to get more screen time;
• Having poor emotional regulation such as anger and depressive symptoms; and
• Throwing extreme tantrums when the device is taken away (i.e. displaying abnormal levels of irritability and restlessness when not on the device)

For more information, please refer to the guidelines on screen use in children by the Ministry of Health: https://www.moh.gov.sg/others/resources-and-statistics/guidance-on-screen-use/

Q: My teenage son is addicted to his phone, and is on his phone all the time, even at his grandparents’ place. What could I do?

Q: We are already facing big struggles with our teens on screen time. When the teens get on the screen, even when the alarm clock screams, the teens refuse to surrender the screen time. It often ends with shouting game…so tiring! What is your advice to improve the habit?

Not all excessive use of devices amounts to addiction. Device addiction refers to excessive use of devices (e.g. phones) that leads to problems and distress.

Please refer to the previous question, regarding common signs that a child has become dependent on devices and has difficulty regulating screen use.

If you notice any of the behaviours mentioned, it is advisable to discuss with your teenager on screen use habits. Aim to understand why your teenager prefers to focus on his phone, in contrast to social interactions with the people around him, such as his grandparents.

Try to reach an understanding with your teen about the use of his phone, which balances device use and various healthy or meaningful activities that your teenager can engage in, including study, social interactions and exercise.

Severe cases may require professional intervention and counselling.

Some unhealthy behaviours may also be the result of online harms, such as cyberbullying. If your teenager is a victim or is involved in online harms, it may be necessary to bring the matter to the attention of schools or the police to take appropriate action against these harms.

Q: Would you recommend parents to subscribe for home WIFI-wide parental control services (e.g. M1 Cyber Guardian)?

So that children won’t ‘chance’ upon inappropriate content. But this would also mean subscribing to such services for their mobile phones to ensure consistency.

However, this adds to subscription costs and I hope our government can do more to protect our networks just like how we protect our homes (in case you have a chance to speak to Minister again 🙂

As a general rule, you should always ensure that there are clear rules regarding device use. For children, parental control services can be a helpful tool to protect your children from inappropriate content.

At the same time, please be aware that parental control is not 100% foolproof, and children may still be exposed to inappropriate content such as pornography or graphic violence despite the existence of parental controls.

It is always advisable to set clear rules and understandings regarding the use of devices, and to ensure that parents and other caregivers (such as grandparents) abide and enforce the same rules. This includes ensuring that children are being supervised in their device use, and setting limits on the amount of time that children are allowed to use their devices.

At all times, foster good communication and relationships with your children or grandchildren, and be willing to listen in an open and non-judgmental manner, so that they feel comfortable to approach you in the event they encounter any problems.

Q: Would any of the speakers/parents be able to share an example of the key rules they have for their tweens at home? I am also intending to give my child a phone at the end of P6, so wanted to know what are some common guidelines/things I need to enforce. E.g. I have heard of technology “contracts” that people go through with their kids.

It is always advisable to set clear rules and understandings regarding the use of devices, and to ensure that parents and other caregivers (such as grandparents) abide and enforce the same rules.

“Technology contracts” might be one way to set such rules.

Some sample rules that you might want to include in your “technology contract” may include:

– Screentime limits on weekdays and weekends:

o Total screentime limited to ____ hours / minutes

o Devices should only be used at times on weekdays / weekends

– Places or times where the child is not allowed to use any devices, e.g.:

o No devices allowed in the bedroom

o No devices allowed at mealtimes

– Rules concerning other tasks and commitments, e.g.:

o Finish all homework before using any devices

o Complete all chores before using any devices

– Rules on responsible behaviour online, e.g.:

o I will not engage in any form of cyberbullying online

o I will not talk to strangers online

o I will not divulge any private or confidential information (e.g. credit card details, personal address, etc.)

o I will not transfer money to anyone online

o I will not share inappropriate sexual or graphic images online (of myself or others, including AI-generated images)

One sample resource is the “First Device Mission!” Tech Agreement by TOUCH Cyber Wellness, which is accessible here.